Mrs Goody Two Shoes VI

When they come calling

Entertaining relatives is a game that you have to play by the rules

All this sweet talk about how they are lucky to have you in their family, how you are the daughter that they had always waited for -- it is all hogwash, patronising guff oozing with a sugary syrup that makes you go green with sickness. It is just a customary ritual that the relatives from the other side observe, perhaps out of habit, and the emptiness of the words as they tumble out one after another, tripping on each other in an effort to sound genuine, can leave you staring in amazement.
What astounds me more is when I smile back, with all the well-practised artifices of a veteran actress. A touch of coyness dripping with gratitude for having been allowed a place in the family tree, I say, "I am the fortunate one here to have found a family like you." The hollow sounding phrase hurts my ears, but it seems to please them a lot, well, at least, on the surface it does. They pat my cheeks lightly with the air that only aunts-in-law could have cultivated over centuries, a slight condescension and the kind of pitiful affection one would generally show a stray that comes wagging its tails behind you. You just take it under your shelter because you can afford to, and it seems, they have obliged me by taking me under the wings of their family.
In return, you have to make the right moves. Especially when they come calling. One afternoon, an aunt dropped in for lunch. It was a hot, summer afternoon, the kind where you just get plain lazy. But my day turned into a series of errands. Warm the food, lay the table (with perfection) -- which I wouldn't have done if I was left to myself, preferring to eat sandwiches while lying on the couch -- followed by serve the food, clean the table, give her a change of comfortable clothes, draw the curtains so that the room became dark enough for her to sleep, switch on the AC the moment she uttered, "Oh, what a hot..." No, it wasn't quite like she was pushing me to do it. No. She just took all of it for granted. If you are the daughter-in-law of the house, you do all that, and more. Yes, more. You massage her feet as she falls asleep because, "I had such a tiring walk. My feel are killing me."
Not that she did all that to torture me. It is an integral part of the whole act and since I have an almost lead role in the drama, I had to play along.
Sometimes, I just wonder at the futility of it all. It is all such a big sham. You can't pick and choose your family, and most of the times, you don't have the freedom to sift people who surround you. But sometimes, I wish they would not kill me, and my reputation, for being honest. I just wish I could scream for once, "Just let me be! I don't want to entertain aunt A, although I don't quite mind aunt B, and, given a choice, I would rather just be with myself."