Not Today

Not today, not right now...
Don't ask me to smile.
I'd rather cry a tear,
Let a dark scream settle on my heart.
I'd rather the glass shattered,
The pieces scattered.
A thousand pin pricks on my soul.
Let me fall apart, crash, burn, toss, turn.
Just this once,
Let me be weak. Petty. Small.
I won't be a pillar... No... Not today. Or maybe not at all.